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Honestly, what's the point? Of a blog that is.  To rant and rave about general happenings, to glisten with anticipation and then impending misery as football begins again? Or simply the medium by which an individual sits on their laptop at 3.01am to dictate a prose that is never to be read.  An individual muse that is so focused on the various thoughts and wondering of a walk home after £35 worth of alcohol, that it will probably not exist beyond the sobered up consideration of the next day.

But then again, who's going to read it?  So it is merely no more than a medium to which to vent through in as delectable a manner as possible.

You spend a night with people with prospects.  With people who have something to work for.  Something to go home too.  And something to aim upon.

Whether that be a graduate scheme in the big smoke come September... or a beautiful and lovely girl to lean and rely upon... a well paid placement year... a year in one of the continents premier cities... an impending round the world trip... a reliable and testing job... a relationship of 4 years.

All that.

Then the focus draws upon myself.  Seemingly inevitable job responses that dictate that whilst your application really was top notch, a CV to be proud of yada yada yada... but unfortunately we have decided to go with someone else.  No negative feedback.  Nothing.  Just a tone and decision that is insanely detectable from the very first syllable of the conversation.  What would be better?  Well something to pinpoint and work on, for starters.  I for one couldn't care less if you think I'll have 'no trouble in getting a job.'  You try motivating yourself to write endless letters pleading for half a chance to prove myself with organisations who couldn't care less.  Answering inevitable questions about a time when you have had to deal with a problem... an example of something you are proud of... an endless and monotone plead as to why ones skills match the ever shit criteria.
 
Genuinely, what are you supposed to do?

This of course acts as the foundations of existence, whilst things and people you used to rely upon become ever more frayed.

I hate change.  And I hate losing people who I once considered to be the pillars that held me up.  For whatever reason... be that a boyfriend who isn't right for you, or a job that simply takes greater preference.  Honestly, what can you do?  The answer is nothing.  You do the very best you can, and hope that one day that is rewarded.  A faith perhaps, for even the most nonreligious of people... a belief that everything will one day be alright, a belief that everything happens for a reason... even the unexplainable shit that explodes out of nowhere with the greatest and most indescribable feeling of force and destruction.

So again I ask, what can you do?

Nothing.

Nothing but giving you're all and believing that you are doing so for a reason.

There are so many people, places and things I miss.  People, places and things I would literally give everything to be with or have.  But things aren't that easy.  Instead, an early morning vent on here will have to do.  It's funny in a way, I have written this with very little expectation of anyone ever reading it.  I will not tweet a link, or promote this in any way.  I just need it said.  I need it out of my mind, at least for the night, and to wake up tomorrow slightly less weighed down with the complete rubbish that is.

Good night.